Love is a universal human experience, yet it’s often challenging to put into words. Throughout history, poets have attempted to capture the essence of love in verse, but few have succeeded as memorably as Elizabeth Barrett Browning in her sonnet “How Do I Love Thee?” This poem, also known as Sonnet 43 from her collection “Sonnets from the Portuguese,” has captivated readers for over 150 years with its passionate declaration of love.
In this post, we’ll explore the depths of this beautiful sonnet, examining its context, structure, meaning, and enduring appeal.
Who Was Elizabeth Barrett Browning?
To truly appreciate “How Do I Love Thee?”, it’s essential to understand the remarkable woman who penned these immortal lines.
Early Life and Education
Elizabeth Barrett was born in 1806 in Durham, England, the eldest of 12 children in a wealthy family. From a young age, she displayed an exceptional intellect and passion for literature. By the time she was 10 years old, she was reading Homer’s epic poems in the original Greek – a feat that would impress even the most scholarly adults. Her father encouraged her education, allowing her access to his extensive library and supporting her early attempts at poetry.
Health Struggles
Despite her intellectual prowess, Elizabeth’s life was far from easy. From her teenage years onward, she struggled with chronic health problems. The exact nature of her illness remains a mystery to modern medical experts, but it left her frequently bedridden and in pain. Some speculate that she may have suffered from a combination of spinal problems, lung issues, and possibly an autoimmune disorder. Despite these challenges, Elizabeth continued to read voraciously and write poetry, using her art as a way to transcend her physical limitations.
Literary Career
Elizabeth published her first collection of poems in 1838, and quickly gained recognition in literary circles. Her work tackled a variety of themes, from love and spirituality to social and political issues. She was particularly vocal about the abolition of slavery and child labor, using her poetry as a platform for advocacy.
A Secret Romance
In 1844, Elizabeth published a volume of poems that caught the attention of another poet, Robert Browning. He wrote her a letter praising her work, famously beginning, “I love your verses with all my heart, dear Miss Barrett.” This initiated a correspondence that would change both their lives forever.
Robert and Elizabeth began exchanging letters regularly, their admiration for each other’s work blossoming into a deep personal connection. In 1845, they met in person for the first time, and their intellectual companionship quickly turned to romance. However, their relationship faced a significant obstacle: Elizabeth’s father.
Edward Barrett was known for his controlling nature and had forbidden any of his children from marrying. Elizabeth, at 39 years old and in poor health, was particularly dependent on her family. Despite this, she and Robert continued their relationship in secret, exchanging hundreds of letters over the course of their courtship.
Marriage and New Beginnings
In September 1846, Elizabeth and Robert took a daring step. They married in secret at St. Marylebone Parish Church in London, with only Elizabeth’s loyal maid present as a witness. A week later, Elizabeth left her family home with just her dog Flush and a few belongings, joining Robert to embark on a new life in Italy.
This act of defiance was a turning point in Elizabeth’s life. The move to Italy seemed to improve her health, and she found herself reinvigorated both personally and creatively. It was during this period that she wrote the “Sonnets from the Portuguese,” a series of 44 love sonnets chronicling her romance with Robert. Despite the title, these were not translations but original works. Elizabeth initially considered them too personal to publish, but Robert encouraged her to share them with the world.
Understanding the Sonnet Form
Before we delve into the specific content of “How Do I Love Thee?”, it’s important to understand the poetic form Browning was working with: the sonnet.
What is a Sonnet?
A sonnet is a 14-line poem with a specific rhyme scheme and meter. This form originated in Italy in the 13th century and was popularized by the poet Petrarch. Later, it was adapted by English poets, leading to variations like the Shakespearean sonnet.
Key Features of a Sonnet:
- 14 lines
- Usually written in iambic pentameter
- Follows a specific rhyme scheme
- Often divided into sections (octave and sestet for Petrarchan sonnets, three quatrains and a couplet for Shakespearean sonnets)
- Typically explores a single theme or idea, often with a “turn” or shift in perspective partway through
Petrarchan vs. Shakespearean Sonnets
“How Do I Love Thee?” is a Petrarchan (also called Italian) sonnet. Here’s how it differs from the perhaps more familiar Shakespearean sonnet:
Petrarchan Sonnet:
- Divided into an octave (8 lines) and a sestet (6 lines)
- Rhyme scheme: ABBAABBA CDECDE (though the sestet can vary)
- The “turn” or volta typically occurs between the octave and sestet
Shakespearean Sonnet:
- Divided into three quatrains (4 lines each) and a couplet (2 lines)
- Rhyme scheme: ABAB CDCD EFEF GG
- The “turn” often occurs in the final couplet
Understanding these structures helps us appreciate the craft behind Browning’s poem and how she uses the form to enhance her expression of love.
The Poem: “How Do I Love Thee?”
Now, let’s look at the full text of the poem:
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight For the ends of being and ideal grace. I love thee to the level of every day’s Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light. I love thee freely, as men strive for right; I love thee purely, as they turn from praise. I love thee with the passion put to use In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith. I love thee with a love I seemed to lose With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath, Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death.
Line-by-Line Analysis
Let’s break down this powerful declaration of love, examining each line for its meaning and poetic devices.
Lines 1-2: Setting the Stage
“How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height”
The poem opens with a rhetorical question that immediately engages the reader. By asking “How do I love thee?”, Browning sets up the entire poem as an answer to this question. The phrase “Let me count the ways” suggests that the speaker’s love is multifaceted and abundant enough to be enumerated.
In the second line, Browning begins her answer by using a spatial metaphor. By referring to the “depth and breadth and height” of her love, she gives it physical dimensions, making an abstract feeling more concrete and tangible. This also suggests that her love is all-encompassing, extending in every possible direction.
Lines 3-4: Love Beyond Sight
“My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight For the ends of being and ideal grace.”
Here, Browning extends the spatial metaphor, but moves into more abstract territory. Her love reaches as far as her soul can – beyond what is visible or tangible. The phrase “ends of being” could refer to the limits of existence, while “ideal grace” suggests a kind of spiritual perfection. Together, these lines imply that the speaker’s love transcends physical reality and reaches into spiritual or philosophical realms.
Lines 5-6: Everyday Love
“I love thee to the level of every day’s Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.”
After the lofty ideas of the previous lines, Browning brings her love back down to earth. She loves not just in grand, cosmic ways, but also in small, everyday ways. The reference to “every day’s most quiet need” suggests the kind of love that manifests in small acts of care and consideration. The mention of “sun and candle-light” indicates that this love is constant, present both day and night.
Lines 7-8: Free and Pure Love
“I love thee freely, as men strive for right; I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.”
In these lines, Browning compares her love to noble human pursuits. The love is “free,” suggesting it’s given without constraint or expectation of return, like how people fight for what’s right out of principle rather than for reward. It’s also “pure,” compared to those who do good deeds without seeking recognition. These comparisons emphasize the selfless and idealistic nature of the speaker’s love.
Lines 9-10: Passionate and Faithful Love
“I love thee with the passion put to use In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.”
Here, Browning introduces elements of her personal history to illustrate the depth of her love. The “passion put to use in my old griefs” suggests that she loves with the same intensity that she once felt sorrow, implying a love that’s deeply felt and hard-won. The reference to “childhood’s faith” evokes a sense of complete trust and belief, unquestioning and pure.
Lines 11-12: Lost and Found Love
“I love thee with a love I seemed to lose With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,”
These lines hint at past losses or disillusionment. The “lost saints” could refer to people the speaker once idolized but lost faith in, or it could be a reference to religious faith that was lost. Either way, Browning is saying that she now loves with the same intensity she once devoted to these “saints.” The mention of “breath” begins to connect her love to her very existence.
Lines 13-14: Eternal Love
“Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death.”
In the final lines, Browning brings together all aspects of her life – “smiles, tears, of all my life” – suggesting that her love encompasses every part of her existence, both joyful and sorrowful. The poem concludes with a powerful statement about the enduring nature of her love. Even death cannot diminish it; in fact, if there’s an afterlife (“if God choose”), her love will only grow stronger.
Poetic Devices in “How Do I Love Thee?”
Browning employs several poetic devices to enhance the impact of her words:
Anaphora
The repetition of “I love thee” at the beginning of several lines is an example of anaphora. This repetition emphasizes the central theme of the poem and creates a rhythmic quality that drives the poem forward.
Metaphor
The poem is rich with metaphors, comparing love to:
- Physical dimensions (depth, breadth, height)
- A journey of the soul
- Daily needs
- Noble pursuits (striving for right, turning from praise)
- Childhood faith
- Breath and life itself
These metaphors help to concretize the abstract concept of love and illustrate its many facets.
Alliteration
Examples of alliteration include “depth and breadth” and “soul can reach, when feeling out of sight.” These repetitions of consonant sounds create a pleasing rhythm and emphasize key words.
Assonance
The repetition of vowel sounds, as in “thee” and “need,” “light” and “right,” creates a musical quality in the poem.
Imagery
While the poem deals with abstract concepts, Browning uses concrete imagery to make these ideas more tangible. For example, “sun and candle-light” creates a visual image that represents the constancy of love.
Hyperbole
The entire poem can be seen as a form of hyperbole or exaggeration, as Browning presents an idealized, all-encompassing vision of love.
Themes in “How Do I Love Thee?”
Unconditional Love
The central theme of the poem is unconditional, all-encompassing love. Browning presents a love that isn’t dependent on circumstances or reciprocation, but is freely and purely given.
Spiritual Dimensions of Love
The poem frequently touches on spiritual or metaphysical aspects of love, suggesting that true love transcends the physical world and connects to something greater.
Everyday Love vs. Idealized Love
Browning balances grand, idealized visions of love with references to everyday life, suggesting that true love encompasses both the extraordinary and the ordinary.
The Power of Love
Throughout the poem, love is presented as a powerful force capable of overcoming obstacles, transcending physical limitations, and even conquering death.
Personal History and Love
By referencing her “old griefs” and “childhood’s faith,” Browning connects her present love to her personal history, suggesting that our capacity for love is shaped by our life experiences.
The Significance of “How Do I Love Thee?”
“How Do I Love Thee?” has endured as one of the most beloved love poems in the English language for several reasons:
Universal Appeal
While the poem is deeply personal, its exploration of love speaks to universal human experiences and emotions. Many people can relate to the desire to express the depth and breadth of their love.
Beautiful Craftsmanship
The poem is a masterpiece of poetic technique, seamlessly blending form and content. Browning’s skilful use of the sonnet form and various poetic devices creates a work that is both structurally satisfying and emotionally powerful.
A Woman’s Voice
In the context of 19th-century literature, Browning’s bold and passionate declaration of love was groundbreaking. The poem gives voice to a woman’s desire and agency in a way that was uncommon for its time.
Balancing Intellect and Emotion
The poem manages to be both deeply emotional and intellectually engaging. Browning doesn’t just express feelings; she explores the nature of love itself.
Spiritual Dimension
By connecting love to spiritual and metaphysical concepts, Browning elevates the poem beyond a simple romance, touching on profound questions about the nature of existence and the human soul.
How to Apply “How Do I Love Thee?” to Your Own Life
While few of us will write sonnets to our loved ones, there are many ways we can apply the insights from Browning’s poem to our own relationships:
Express Your Love
Browning reminds us of the power of expressing our love. While you don’t need to write poetry, taking the time to articulate your feelings can strengthen your relationships.
Love in Many Ways
The poem illustrates that love manifests in many ways – grand gestures and quiet daily acts, passionate emotions and steadfast commitment. Remember to show love in diverse ways in your own relationships.
Unconditional Love
Strive to love freely and purely, without expectation of reward or recognition. While it’s not always easy, this kind of selfless love can lead to deeper, more fulfilling relationships.
Connect Love to Your Life Story
Browning links her love to her personal history – her griefs, her childhood faith, her life experiences. Recognize how your own history shapes your capacity for love, and share this with your partner.
Find the Sacred in the Everyday
While Browning touches on lofty, spiritual aspects of love, she also mentions “every day’s most quiet need.” Remember to appreciate the small, everyday moments of love in your life.
Commit to Growth
Browning’s assertion that she’ll love “better after death” reminds us that love can always grow and deepen. Commit to continually nurturing and developing your love.
Transcend Challenges
The poem’s reference to “old griefs” suggests that love can help us overcome past hurts. Let love be a healing and transformative force in your life.
FAQs About “How Do I Love Thee?”
Q: Is this poem autobiographical?
A: While we can’t know for certain, most scholars believe that “How Do I Love Thee?” was inspired by Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s relationship with her husband, Robert Browning. The depth of feeling and personal references in the poem certainly suggest a deep personal connection to the subject.
Q: Why is the poem called “Sonnet 43”?
A: “How Do I Love Thee?” is the 43rd sonnet in Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s collection “Sonnets from the Portuguese.” Despite the title of the collection, these aren’t translations – they’re all original poems by Browning. The title was a bit of playful misdirection on Browning’s part, possibly because she initially felt the poems were too personal to publish under her own name.
Q: What does “thee” mean?
A: “Thee” is an archaic form of “you” used as the object of a verb or preposition. It was already old-fashioned by Browning’s time, but poets often used such archaic forms to give their work a more formal or elevated tone. In modern English, we would say “How do I love you?”
Q: Is this poem still relevant today?
A: Absolutely! While the language might seem a bit antiquated to modern readers, the emotions and ideas expressed in the poem are timeless. Love, the desire to express deep emotions, and the struggle to articulate the depth
of one’s feelings are all experiences that remain deeply relevant today. The poem’s exploration of love in its many forms – from grand, cosmic love to everyday affection – resonates with people across generations. Moreover, the poem’s message of unconditional and enduring love continues to inspire and move readers in our often cynical modern world.
Q: Why does Browning mention death at the end of the poem?
A: The reference to loving “better after death” serves several purposes. First, it emphasizes the eternal nature of the speaker’s love – a love so strong that it will continue and even grow stronger after life ends. This ties into themes of spiritual love and the power of love to transcend physical limitations.
Secondly, it provides a powerful conclusion to the poem, leaving readers with a striking image of love that conquers even mortality. Lastly, given Browning’s own struggles with illness, the mention of death may have held personal significance, representing her hope that love could overcome her physical challenges.
Q: What’s the difference between this sonnet and a Shakespearean sonnet?
A: The main differences lie in structure and rhyme scheme:
- Structure: “How Do I Love Thee?” is a Petrarchan sonnet, divided into an octave (8 lines) and a sestet (6 lines). A Shakespearean sonnet is divided into three quatrains (4 lines each) and a couplet (2 lines).
- Rhyme Scheme: A Petrarchan sonnet typically follows an ABBAABBA CDECDE rhyme scheme (though the sestet can vary). A Shakespearean sonnet follows an ABAB CDCD EFEF GG rhyme scheme.
- Turn or Volta: In a Petrarchan sonnet, the turn or shift in idea often occurs between the octave and sestet. In a Shakespearean sonnet, the turn often comes in the final couplet.
Q: Why is this poem so famous?
A: “How Do I Love Thee?” has achieved lasting fame for several reasons:
- Universal Theme: It tackles the universal subject of love in a deeply personal yet relatable way.
- Memorable Opening Line: “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways” has become one of the most recognized lines in English poetry.
- Beautiful Language: The poem combines accessible language with powerful imagery and emotion.
- Historical Significance: It was groundbreaking for its time in its bold expression of a woman’s love and desire.
- Biographical Interest: The poem gains additional intrigue from its connection to Elizabeth and Robert Browning’s love story.
- Formal Mastery: It’s a technically excellent example of a Petrarchan sonnet.
- Emotional Depth: The poem moves from cosmic, spiritual love to everyday affection, capturing a complex and complete vision of love.
Q: What does “feel out of sight” mean in the third line?
A: The phrase “feeling out of sight / For the ends of being and ideal grace” is one of the more complex in the poem. “Feeling out of sight” suggests reaching or searching for something that can’t be seen or easily grasped. It’s as if the speaker’s soul is extending beyond the visible world, searching for the limits of existence (“the ends of being”) and spiritual perfection (“ideal grace”).
This phrase underscores the spiritual and metaphysical aspects of the speaker’s love. It’s not just a physical or emotional connection, but something that reaches into the deepest questions of existence and spirituality.
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The Impact and Legacy of “How Do I Love Thee?”
Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s sonnet has left an indelible mark on literature and popular culture. Let’s explore its impact and enduring legacy:
Influence on Literature
“How Do I Love Thee?” helped revitalize the sonnet form in the 19th century. Its success showed that this ancient poetic form could still be relevant and powerful in the modern era. The poem influenced many subsequent poets, inspiring them to explore themes of love and devotion in their own work.
Popular Culture References
The poem, especially its opening line, has been referenced countless times in books, films, television shows, and songs. It’s often quoted (and sometimes parodied) in romantic contexts, demonstrating its status as a cultural touchstone for expressions of love.
Feminist Interpretations
In recent decades, scholars have examined “How Do I Love Thee?” through a feminist lens. They note how revolutionary it was for a woman in the 19th century to express her love so boldly and on her own terms. The poem asserts the speaker’s agency and the depth of her feelings in a way that challenged contemporary norms about women’s emotions and their expression.
Inspiration for Other Arts
Beyond literature, the poem has inspired works in other artistic media. It has been set to music by various composers, used as inspiration for visual artworks, and even provided the title for a 2019 biographical film about Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s life.
Educational Impact
“How Do I Love Thee?” is a staple in many literature curricula, often used to introduce students to the sonnet form and to 19th-century poetry. Its relatively accessible language and profound emotions make it an excellent teaching tool.
Critiques and Controversies
While “How Do I Love Thee?” is widely beloved, it has not been without its critics:
Sentimentality
Some critics have argued that the poem is overly sentimental or idealistic in its portrayal of love. They suggest that its vision of all-encompassing, eternal love is unrealistic.
Religious Overtones
The religious references in the poem (e.g., “if God choose,” “lost saints”) have been a point of discussion. Some appreciate the spiritual dimension they add, while others feel they complicate the poem’s message.
Biographical Readings
There’s ongoing debate about how much the poem should be read as autobiographical. While many readers appreciate the connection to Browning’s life story, some critics argue that focusing too much on biography can limit interpretation of the poem.
Conclusion
“How Do I Love Thee?” remains one of the most famous and beloved love poems in the English language, over 150 years after it was written. Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s sonnet captures the multifaceted nature of love – its spiritual heights, its everyday manifestations, its power to overcome grief and transcend death.
The poem’s enduring appeal lies in its ability to express profound emotions in beautiful, accessible language. It reminds us of the power of love to transform our lives and connect us to something greater than ourselves. Whether read as a personal love letter, a philosophical exploration of love, or a bold feminist statement, “How Do I Love Thee?” continues to move, inspire, and challenge readers.
In a world that often seems cynical and divided, Browning’s vision of all-encompassing, enduring love offers a powerful counterpoint. It encourages us to love deeply, express our feelings boldly, and recognize the profound impact love can have on our lives. As we navigate our own relationships and emotional landscapes, we can look to this timeless poem for inspiration, comfort, and a reminder of love’s extraordinary power.